When a couple first contemplates divorce, the hurt feelings and resentment often lead to rage and a desire to punish the other person. This is especially true of one partner is more at fault than the other for the breakup of the marriage.

While you may initially think that you need an aggressive divorce attorney who won’t stop until there is blood on the courtroom floor, this type of conflict-driven style of litigating often leads to more problem than it is worth. Often, cooperation and professionalism lead to a better long-term result than a divorce where anger ruled the discussions.

Conflict Means Court Time

When a divorcing couple insists on fighting about every detail of their divorce, this often leads to extensive time in the courtroom litigating matters that are relatively unimportant. This time in the court room is incredibly expensive, as both parties will have to pay their attorneys several hundred dollars to attending a hearing which may only last fifteen minutes.

Rather than waste time and money fighting in front of a judge about who gets to keep the holiday decorations and who has to take care of the family pets, these issues are often resolves quickly and easily during a mediation between both spouses and their attorneys. By working together to come up with a reasonable plan that works for both sides, each spouse saves money and tends to feel better about the decisions that are made.

Professionalism Works Both Ways

During a divorce proceeding, there will be times when your spouse or your spouse’s attorney needs to change the date of a hearing or rearrange a meeting. Often, spouses who are very hurt will instruct their attorneys not to acquiesce to these requests and play hardball instead.

However, this type of legal maneuvering is counterproductive. When your attorney does not grant a simple request like this, it becomes less likely that your own request will be granted if you or your attorney ever need more time.

In addition, denying your spouse/spouse’s attorney a request for more time only serves to make you and your attorney look petty. Your spouse has the ability to petition the judge to reschedule a hearing, and these requests are routinely granted. By denying a routine request for no reason, the judge will often form a negative opinion about both your attorney and your case.

Children Mean Lifelong Relationships

Most importantly, when children resulted from a relationship, finding a way to separate amicably is incredibly important because you will have to deal with your former partner for the rest of your children’s lives.

You will have to see your former partner at graduations, weddings, and every significant event in your children’s lives for as long as you both live. When a divorce breaks down into nasty, spiteful bickering, it can be impossible to mend the relationship enough to be able to stomach sitting in the same room. For the sake of the children involved in the marriage, it is important to work with an attorney who believes in successful cooperation leading to an amicable resolution.

If you and your spouse are having problems and are considering a divorce, do yourself a favor and think about what you hope to gain from the process. If your focus is moving on and bettering your life and the lives of your children, Ashby Law can help. At Ashby Law, our attorneys offer services which include traditional divorces, collaborative divorces, legal separations, mediations, arbitrations, and many other family law agreements.

Regardless of what decision you make about your relationship, the attorneys at Ashby Law can help you resolve your family law issues. For a consultation, or to learn more about your options, contact our helpful Washington family law attorneys today by calling 509-572-3700.