Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences a Christian can face. It challenges not only relationships but also deeply held convictions about faith, marriage, and family. Different churches and denominations interpret Scripture in different ways. Some see divorce as permissible only in cases of adultery or abandonment, while others allow it more broadly for safety, peace, or mutual well-being.
Washington law, by contrast, is secular. A marriage can be dissolved whenever one spouse believes it is “irretrievably broken” (RCW 26.09.030). The court’s focus is not on sin or blame but on stability, fairness, and protection for everyone involved. Many clients come to us searching for a way to honor both faith and law without losing integrity or peace of mind.
Our attorneys respect every client’s belief system. We help individuals and families walk through this process with calm, compassion, and clear guidance. Whether your church forbids divorce, permits it under limited conditions, or leaves it to personal conscience, you deserve a process that protects your values and your dignity.
We often work with clients who seek faith-based mediation or counseling before filing, and with those who choose legal separation as an alternative to divorce. Whatever your path, our goal is to reduce conflict, preserve grace, and ensure that your legal decisions align with your spiritual convictions.
➡For more general information about divorce visit our page Divorce in Washington State
Balancing Faith and the Legal Process
How do Christians approach divorce differently, and how does the law account for that?
Many Christians struggle with divorce because of personal convictions or church teachings. Washington law, however, has a single standard: a marriage may be dissolved when it is “irretrievably broken” (RCW 26.09.030).
Our role is not to interpret doctrine, but to help clients make legal decisions that also respect their values, boundaries, and conscience.
What does the Bible say about divorce, and how does that apply in Washington State?
Different Christian traditions interpret Scripture differently. Some point to Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7:15, which allow divorce in cases of adultery or abandonment. Others emphasize reconciliation or lifelong covenant.
Washington law, however, is secular and allows divorce when a marriage is “irretrievably broken” (RCW 26.09.030). Our role is to help you reconcile faith and law respectfully, so that both conscience and compliance are protected.
What if my church discourages divorce — can I still move forward legally?
Yes. Civil divorce is independent of religious approval. Some clients continue seeking pastoral guidance while proceeding legally. We help create a process that is calm, respectful, and consistent with your beliefs, without rushing decisions.
What should I do if my spouse refuses divorce for religious reasons?
Washington law does not require mutual consent. If one spouse believes the marriage is irretrievably broken, the court will proceed. We help Christian clients approach this sensitively, without hostility, and with clear communication.
Values-Based Legal Strategy
Can I go through divorce in a way that reflects my Christian values?
Yes. Many Christian clients want a process grounded in honesty, humility, and respect.
Our firm emphasizes:
- Truthful disclosure
- Fair dealing
- Minimizing unnecessary conflict
- Protecting children
- Avoiding retaliation
We help clients align their legal approach with the principles that matter to them.
How can I protect both my faith and my family during divorce?
We help clients build a strategy that:
- Reduces conflict
- Protects children from emotional harm
- Uses calm communication tools
- Encourages settlement where appropriate
- Sets boundaries when safety or respect is compromised
It is possible to handle divorce with both strength and compassion.
Can I request a process that avoids hostile litigation?
Yes. Christian clients often prefer:
- Mediation
- Collaborative approaches
- Structured negotiation
We can tailor your legal approach to reduce conflict while still protecting your rights.
Can a Christian lawyer help me navigate divorce in line with biblical principles?
Yes. Christian attorneys can integrate values of truth, stewardship, and compassion into every stage of representation. While we do not give religious advice, we understand the desire to handle matters with grace and integrity, reflecting scriptural values such as justice (Micah 6:8) and honesty (Proverbs 12:22).
Parenting & Faith
➡For more general information about child custody visit our page Child Custody in Washington State
➡For more tailored information about child custody in divorce visit our FAQ Divorce and Child Custody
Can Christian parents include faith-based elements in a parenting plan?
Yes — if both parents agree and the provisions serve the child’s best interests. This may include:
- Church involvement
- Faith-based education
- Holiday observance
- Shared moral expectations
Washington courts do not favor or disfavor religion; they focus on the child’s stability and welfare.
How do courts handle custody when parents disagree about religious upbringing?
If parents cannot agree, the court considers the impact of each option on the child’s well-being. The goal is not to choose one religion over another but to promote stability, consistency, and emotional health.
How do Christian values affect child custody and parenting decisions?
Washington law does not weigh religion when determining custody but focuses on the child’s stability and best interests (RCW 26.09.002). Parents can agree to faith-based provisions—such as shared church attendance or religious education—if they serve the child’s welfare.
Courts respect parenting plans that promote moral consistency and emotional safety.
Emotional Support & Guidance
Can my pastor play a role in the legal process?
Pastors do not have a legal role and are not required to approve the divorce. They may offer emotional support or testify about family routines or character if both parties agree and it becomes relevant.
How can Christian counseling or pastoral care support the divorce process?
Many clients work with pastors or Christian counselors while we handle the legal side. These professionals provide emotional and spiritual support so the legal process is driven by clarity, not fear or anger.
What mistakes do Christians often make during divorce?
Common missteps include:
- Avoiding legal advice because of guilt
- Staying silent about abuse
- Assuming prayer alone will resolve legal issues
- Using faith language to justify control or avoid responsibility
Wise counsel includes both spiritual and legal guidance.
How do I reconcile my beliefs with filing for divorce?
This is deeply personal. Many clients ultimately decide that protecting their family’s safety, peace, and long-term well-being is consistent with their values. We help clients move forward with dignity, honesty, and compassion.
How does forgiveness or reconciliation fit into the legal process?
Forgiveness is personal, not procedural. Washington law allows spouses to dismiss a case if they reconcile before finalization. Many clients find that forgiving one another—spiritually or emotionally—helps them reach fairer legal resolutions. Legal closure and personal healing can move at different paces.
Should I try legal separation before divorce if my faith discourages divorce?
Legal separation can provide stability without permanently ending the marriage. It allows financial and parenting boundaries while leaving room for reconciliation. Washington law treats legal separation as a distinct process under RCW 26.09.150. Some Christian couples choose it as a way to honor their faith while protecting their family.
➡For information comparing divorce to legal separation visit our FAQ Divorce vs. Legal Separation
How can faith-based counseling or mediation help Christian couples divorcing in Washington?
Faith-based counseling or mediation can ease conflict by emphasizing respect and mutual understanding. Many trained mediators in Washington will incorporate spiritual principles if both spouses agree. Under RCW 26.09.184(4), courts encourage mediation before trial, and couples can choose faith-sensitive professionals to support that process.
How We Help You Move Forward
Faith and justice can coexist. We represent Christians and families of faith who want to handle divorce with honesty, self-control, and respect for their beliefs.
Our attorneys combine legal skill with emotional intelligence, helping clients navigate the law without abandoning their values. We work to protect your children, finances, and peace of mind so that you can move forward with strength, wisdom, and renewed hope.
Reviewed by Attorney Zachary C Ashby, Pacific Northwest Family Law, November 2025