Children are often at the center of ongoing conflict during divorce. For most parents, their goals and hopes revolve around raising healthy, well-adjusted children, and divorce—or more often the causes of divorce—can put those aspirations at risk.
Washington law uses the term parenting plan rather than custody order to describe the legal framework that governs where children will live, who will make major decisions, and how parents will resolve future disagreements. A parenting plan covers three core areas: decision-making authority, the residential schedule, and the methods for resolving disputes without returning to court.
The guiding standard for every parenting plan is the best interests of the child. Courts presume that parents who can agree on a plan are acting in their children’s best interests, which is why parents are given wide latitude to shape their own arrangements. Most parenting issues are ultimately resolved through agreement after careful discussion and skilled negotiation. An experienced attorney can help parents understand both the boundaries and opportunities available within Washington’s framework to craft a plan that truly fits their family.
When parents cannot agree—or when there are serious concerns such as abuse, neglect, substance addiction, or mental-health instability—the court may limit a parent’s time or decision-making authority to protect the child.
Most families begin with temporary arrangements that reflect their recent status quo (who has been caring for the children day to day) and later build toward a long-term schedule. While many families follow the familiar pattern of one parent having alternating weekends, Washington courts increasingly approve 50/50 or near-equal schedules when parents demonstrate cooperation and practical stability. The goal is not to reward one parent or punish another, but to give children predictability, safety, and love in both homes.
Child support, daycare expenses, and health-care costs are determined under statewide guidelines that account for both parents’ incomes and each child’s needs. Every order is customized, and thoughtful planning can prevent financial surprises as children grow.
Divorce reshapes families, and parents will remain parents of their children forever. With the right legal strategy, parents can protect their relationships with their children and create clear boundaries that reduce conflict and promote peace in both households.
➡For general information about divorce visit our page Divorce in Washington State
➡For deeper information about parenting plans, relocation, or post-decree changes, see [Custody, Parenting Plans & Relocation] (link: Custody, Parenting Plans & Relocation).
Parenting Plans and Decision-Making During Divorce
What is a parenting plan, and how does it work in a divorce?
A parenting plan is the court order that defines where the children live, how parents share decision-making, and how they resolve disagreements. It becomes part of the final divorce decree under RCW 26.09.181–.184.
How do courts decide where the children will live?
Judges focus on the child’s stability, safety, and emotional well-being under RCW 26.09.002. The court looks at each parent’s past caregiving role and the child’s relationship with both parents.
What kinds of parenting schedules are most common in Washington?
The most common parenting plan in Washington gives one parent every other weekend and one evening visit during the week. Courts prefer predictable, age-appropriate schedules that support the child’s routine and reflect each parent’s caregiving history. While equal-time plans such as week-on/week-off or 2-2-5-5 are less common, we have seen a growing trend toward 50/50 schedules when both parents can communicate well and show that shared time is in the child’s best interest.
What is the difference between physical and legal custody?
Washington no longer uses the term “custody.” By default, both parents share joint legal custody, meaning they have equal authority in major decisions about their children. Physical custody is reflected in the parenting plan as “residential time.” The amount of time each parent has will vary depending on the child’s needs, the parents’ work schedules, and the history of caregiving.
Can a parent move out during the divorce and still get equal time?
Yes, but it must be handled carefully. Washington courts often issue temporary parenting plans early in the case, and those orders can reflect the family’s recent status quo—how parents were sharing time and responsibilities when the case began. Moving out without an agreement or motion in process can reduce time temporarily, even if the goal is equal custody later. Working with an attorney helps ensure that short-term changes don’t undermine your long-term parenting goals.
How does the court handle decision-making about schools, medical care, or religion?
Washington law presumes that parents share decision-making authority unless there’s evidence that cooperation would harm the child or is impossible. Shared decision-making means both parents must agree on major issues and communicate about appointments or events so each can participate. Courts restrict this only when necessary to protect the child (In re Marriage of Jensen-Branch, 899 P.2d 803 (Wash. Ct. App. 1995)).
Do fathers have equal rights to custody in divorce?
Washington law treats mothers and fathers equally, but parenting time is determined by the child’s best interests—not by labels or gender. Courts look closely at each parent’s past caregiving, daily involvement, and emotional bond with the child. Fathers who have historically focused on work to provide for their families may need to show that their schedules and priorities now allow for consistent, hands-on parenting. Demonstrating active participation and reliability is key to earning substantial time in a parenting plan.
➡ For more information on Father’s Rights see our page on Father’s Rights and Parentage
Child Support and Financial Responsibility in Divorce
How is child support calculated during and after divorce?
Support is determined using both parents’ incomes and the state schedule under RCW 26.19.020. Adjustments apply for daycare, health insurance, or special needs.
➡ Detailed coverage in [Child Support in Washington State]
How does spousal maintenance (alimony) affect child support?
Maintenance counts as income to the recipient and reduces the payer’s income, which affects support calculations under RCW 26.19.071. Courts evaluate both obligations together to keep payments fair.
➡ For more information about alimony and spousal maintenance, visit our page Alimony and Spousal Support
Can support be adjusted for shared (50/50) parenting or high expenses?
Yes. Courts may deviate from the standard schedule when equal time or exceptional expenses make the standard amount unfair, as allowed under RCW 26.19.075.)
Who pays for daycare, uninsured medical costs, and extracurriculars?
Each parent pays a proportional share of these costs based on income unless they agree otherwise. These expenses are added to the child-support worksheet under RCW 26.19.080. Things like health insurance can be included in the core payment and special costs (like braces or filled cavities) are usually paid separately.
When does child support end in Washington?
The child support order itself sets the end date, which typically lasts until the child turns 18 or finishes high school, whichever comes later. Support can be extended for post-secondary education under RCW 26.19.090, but a request must be made before the order expires to keep payments continuous.
Supporting Children Emotionally Through Divorce
What are the best ways to protect children emotionally during divorce?
Children need reassurance, consistency, and calm communication. Avoid blaming or using them as messengers; structure and predictability help them feel safe in both homes.
How can parents reduce conflict in front of their children?
Use neutral communication tools, keep discussions brief, and never argue where children can hear. Some families benefit from co-parenting apps or counseling support.
Can children choose where they want to live?
No fixed age controls. Courts may consider a mature child’s preference as one factor, but decisions always center on the child’s overall best interests under RCW 26.09.187.
What happens when one parent tries to turn the children against the other (parental alienation)?
Judges look for patterns of interference with the child’s relationship. Proven alienating behavior can result in counseling orders or adjustments to parenting time.
How do courts view cooperation and communication between parents?
Courts expect parents to act in good faith and encourage healthy relationships with both parents. Consistent cooperation is seen as a sign of stability and maturity in parenting.
Next Steps: Building Stability for Your Family
Divorce with children is never just a legal process—it’s the start of a new structure for your family. The most successful parenting plans begin with clear goals, realistic expectations, and honest communication about what will work for both homes. Every case benefits from a balanced strategy that protects your time with your children while keeping their needs at the center of each decision.
Working with an attorney ensures that your plan reflects not only the law but the realities of your family’s daily life—school, work, and the moments that matter most. With careful planning, you can reduce conflict, preserve relationships, and build a foundation of stability and peace for your children’s future.
Reviewed by Attorney Zachary C Ashby, Pacific Northwest Family Law, November 2025.