The difficulty and complication of divorce increases when there are children involved. Children are too often the innocent and unintended victims of parent rants and parent fights. Add to it a culture that only really is exposed to legal proceedings on TV, which creates drama to drive viewership, and it is no wonder that the scars of divorce can last a lifetime.
And the Court is all too aware that children are easily manipulated and emotionally and psychologically affected by how their parents behave during the divorce. And the Court does not like it. There is no judge who will tolerate dirty or overly aggressive tactics. And in family law, it is easy to punish one party or the other for taking a take-no-prisoners approach.
That does not mean you should roll over and let the other parent win in order to avoid fighting.
So, what is the one thing you need to remember?
–Your children have two parents.
I know that sounds stupid and common sense. And sometimes, you might feel like you are all alone. But the reality is that you have to learn to give space for the other parent to be a parent, too.
Here’s some ways that applies to every case:
- In text messages to the other parent or in documents to the court, do not say my son or my daughter, it is always “our” son or daughter.
- Facebook posts or other public forums could be used to acknowledge good points of the other parent’s care for your children.
- Swearing at, fighting with, or belittling the other parent directly harms your children.
- Arguments can be centered on what will benefit the children, rather than what the other parent did or did not do.
A little bit of empathy, goes a long way to resolve a lifetime of difficulty. And finding ways to acknowledge the other parent’s important role in your children’s lives will allow your children to become healthy, well-adjusted adults. And because it is not always easy to see the other person’s point of view or approach long-standing arguments with empathy, sometimes you need help. The attorneys at Pacific Northwest Family Law are trained in resolving disputes in such a way that you and your family are protected. We believe that the most successful divorce result in a co-parenting relationship where both parents can be a part of their children’s lives. If you are ready to approach your divorce in a compassionate way, call now and schedule and appointment so we work together. Call 877-738-0777 so we can help you, your soon to be ex-spouse, and most importantly your children get through the divorce as quickly and painlessly as possible with the best outcome for all of you.
