Long-distance parenting is one of the hardest challenges families face after separation. Parents want to stay bonded with their children, but school schedules, travel time, and the realities of daily life can make equal contact impossible. Washington courts understand this, and the law focuses on creating parenting plans that give children stability while still supporting strong relationships with both parents.
A long-distance plan usually depends on where the child attends school. The school-year routine must come first because children need consistency in education, sleep, and daily activities. When parents live far apart, this often means one home becomes the child’s primary base during the school year, and the other parent receives longer blocks of time during school breaks, holidays, and the summer. Virtual contact, regular communication, and clear travel rules help fill the gaps so children feel connected even when the distance is significant.
This page explains how Washington courts approach long-distance parenting, how school-year and summer schedules work, how travel costs are handled, and how parents can stay involved even from far away.
➡ For more general information about child custody see our page Child Custody and Father’s Rights in Washington State
Myths & Misconceptions About Long-Distance Parenting in Washington
Myth: “Long-distance parenting automatically means less parental rights.”
Not true. A parent who lives far away still has full legal rights unless the parenting plan limits them. Distance affects logistics, not legal status. Courts focus on maintaining meaningful relationships, even across states.
Myth: “Long-distance parenting plans always result in the child living with one parent.”
Not always. Some families maintain substantial time with both parents using extended blocks, shared summers, holidays, or creative virtual-contact schedules. Washington courts try to preserve strong relationships with both parents whenever feasible.
Myth: “Virtual visits can replace real parenting time.”
Courts do not view virtual contact as a substitute for in-person time. Video calls help maintain connection but cannot replace residential time, bonding, or decision-making involvement.
Myth: “A long-distance parent can’t be a primary parent.”
Rare, but possible. In some cases—especially where one parent has historically been the child’s primary caregiver—the court may maintain primary status even if that parent relocates. The child’s stability, school situation, and needs determine the result, not geography alone.
Myth: “If my ex refuses travel or exchange cooperation, I lose my time.”
Not true, though it may feel like it in the moment. Courts can order makeup time, set detailed exchange instructions, impose penalties, or modify the plan. Refusal to facilitate travel can backfire on the noncooperative parent.
Myth: “A child can decide whether to travel to the other parent.”
Incorrect. Parents must follow the parenting plan unless a legitimate safety issue exists. A child’s objections alone do not cancel long-distance visits.
Custodial Terms and School Enrollment in Long-Distance Cases
What does “primary residential parent” mean in long-distance cases?
The primary residential parent is the parent with whom the child lives a majority of the time during the school year. This parent’s home address is usually used for school enrollment and for determining the child’s home base for daily routines.
How do courts decide which parent should be the school-year parent?
Courts look at stability, past involvement, the child’s school needs, distance between homes, and each parent’s ability to support the daily routine. Judges choose the arrangement that best protects the child’s education and emotional well-being (RCW 26.09.187).
Does the long-distance parent have fewer rights than the school-year parent?
No. Residential time and parental rights are separate issues. A long-distance parent may still have significant time, full access to records, and a major role in the child’s life unless safety concerns require restrictions.
Can a long-distance parent still be a joint decision maker?
Yes. A parent may remain a joint decision maker if communication is workable and no safety concerns exist. Courts limit decision-making only when cooperation is impossible or unsafe (RCW 26.09.191).
Does long-distance parenting affect school enrollment and district choice?
Yes. The child must be enrolled in one school district, and the primary residential parent’s address usually determines this. Courts choose the district that best supports the child’s educational stability.
Does long-distance parenting affect child support calculations?
Long-distance parenting can affect the number of overnights each parent receives and may influence support calculations. Travel expenses may justify a deviation when appropriate.
➡ [link: Child Support in Washington State]
How does jurisdiction work if parents live in different states?
Jurisdiction follows the UCCJEA home-state rule, which generally gives authority to the state where the child lived for the six months before the case was filed. The court decides jurisdiction before deciding parenting time.
➡ [link: Multi-State Child Custody (UCCJEA)]
Long-Distance Parenting During the School Year
How far apart can parents live and still share a residential schedule in Washington?
There is no set distance, but both parents must live close enough for the child to attend school consistently and maintain a stable routine. When distance disrupts school, courts usually choose one primary home. And that determination will usually be done by a local Court.
Can parents use a 50/50 schedule if they live in different cities or counties?
It is possible but uncommon. Equal schedules work only when the distance does not cause long commutes, missed school, or unnecessary stress for the child.
What does a long-distance school-year parenting plan usually look like?
Most long-distance school-year plans give one parent the school-week routine and give the other parent long weekends, breaks, or extended holiday time to maintain meaningful contact.
How do Washington courts handle travel that interferes with school routines?
Courts prioritize the child’s school attendance, sleep, and daily routine. If travel would cause disruption, the schedule is adjusted to reduce stress and preserve educational stability.
Can the child attend school in one district while spending time with the other parent?
Sometimes, but only if it does not interfere with attendance or sleep. Long drives before school, especially for younger children, may lead the court to limit school-night travel.
Can a child fly or travel long distances during the school week?
Usually not. Courts avoid arrangements that require flights or long-distance travel during school nights because it disrupts the child’s routine and sleep.
Can the school-year schedule include regular virtual time?
Yes. Virtual contact is common in long-distance cases to support regular communication.
➡ Learn more about additional contact rules in parenting plans at Parenting Plan Rules, Communication, and Conduct
Summer and School-Break Long-Distance Parenting
What does a long-distance summer schedule look like in Washington?
Summer often includes longer blocks of time with the long-distance parent, ranging from several weeks to most of the summer depending on the child’s age, travel needs, and the school-year schedule.
How long can a child stay with the long-distance parent during the summer?
It varies. Many plans allow two to six consecutive weeks. Courts consider age, comfort, travel fatigue, and the child’s relationship with each parent.
Do school breaks count as part of the long-distance parent’s time?
Yes. Mid-winter break, spring break, and long weekends often go to the long-distance parent since these periods do not interfere with school.
Can parents alternate entire summers in long-distance cases?
Yes. Some families choose to rotate full summers, especially when school-year travel is not possible. Courts approve this when it supports meaningful time with both parents.
What notice is required before long-distance summer travel?
Many parenting plans require written notice 14 to 30 days before extended travel. Parents must share itineraries, lodging information, and emergency contacts so the other parent knows how to reach the child. If the parenting plan does not specify a notice requirement, parents should still communicate travel plans early to avoid conflict and ensure smooth transitions.
Travel, Flights, and Transportation Costs
Who pays for airfare or long-distance transportation in Washington parenting plans?
Parents may share costs, alternate years, or assign expenses based on income or travel distance. Courts choose arrangements that are fair under the circumstances.
➡ For more information see our page Child Support in Washington State
Can travel costs justify a deviation in child support?
Yes. Washington courts may allow deviations if one parent pays significant travel expenses to maintain contact with the child (RCW 26.19.075).
➡ For more information see our page Child Support in Washington State
What rules should parents include for booking flights or long-distance transportation?
Parenting plans can require advance booking, sharing itineraries, avoiding red-eye flights, or choosing age-appropriate travel options. Clarity helps avoid last-minute disputes.
Can young children fly alone for parenting time?
Most airlines allow unaccompanied minors, but courts consider age, maturity, and comfort. Some plans require direct flights or escort services to reduce stress and risk.
How do courts handle missed flights, delays, or travel problems?
Courts expect parents to communicate clearly and problem-solve without creating conflict. Parenting plans can include fallback rules for delays or missed connections.
Contact during non-residential time
How often should long-distance parents have virtual visits?
Parenting plans usually include several video or phone contacts per week so the child maintains a strong connection with the long-distance parent.
Can a parent limit or interfere with virtual contact?
No. Virtual contact is enforceable. A parent may not block calls or monitor them unless safety restrictions apply.
Where can I learn more about communication rules and expectations?
The very best place would be your personal attorney who can review your parenting plan and give you actual advice on what is required and what is not. But you can also see our other pages regarding communication and other rules that can be added to any parenting plan.
➡ See our page Parenting Plan Rules, Communication, and Conduct
Creating Connection Across the Distance
A long-distance parenting plan must balance two important goals. Children need a stable home base for school and daily life, and they also need a meaningful relationship with the parent who lives farther away. Washington courts look at distance, cooperation, school routines, and travel demands to build plans that meet both needs. When the plan is clear about travel, time blocks, communication, and decision-making, parents can avoid conflict and focus on maintaining a strong relationship with their child.
Thoughtful planning helps families stay connected, even when geography makes parenting complicated. As you move into later pages, you will see how long-distance parenting interacts with relocation rules, jurisdiction across state lines, and the broader structure of your Washington parenting plan.
Reviewed by Attorney Zachary C Ashby, Pacific Northwest Family Law, November 2025.