Every parenting plan in Washington has rules that go beyond the schedule. Parents often agree on when the child will be with each parent, then discover later that the real conflict happens in the day-to-day details. Communication, conduct, new relationships, phone calls, exchanges, activities, and expectations can all create stress if the plan is silent or unclear. The Washington Parenting Plan form leaves room for parents to add their own rules, but it does not explain what should be included or how those rules are enforced.
This page explains the kinds of rules parents commonly add to the plan, why they matter, and how they protect children from being pulled into adult conflict. You will learn how communication rules work, what conduct courts expect, how activities and routines are handled, and when a rule becomes enforceable. Understanding these extra provisions helps parents reduce conflict, protect their child’s stability, and avoid repeated trips back to court.
Myths & Misconceptions About Parenting Plan Rules, Communication, and Other Provisions
Myth: “If it’s not illegal, I can do it during my parenting time.”
Not true. Parenting plans impose behavioral expectations that go beyond criminal law. Even if something is technically legal—smoking pot, refusing communication, making rude comments, blocking information—it can still violate the plan and lead to enforcement or contempt.
Myth: “If the parenting plan doesn’t mention communication, I can block calls.”
Incorrect. While plans vary, Washington courts expect parents to support reasonable contact with the other parent. Repeated interference can lead to added communication rules, contempt, or even a modification if it becomes harmful to the child.
Myth: “A parent can say whatever they want about the other parent.”
No. Derogatory language, pressure, interrogation, and undermining the other parent all work against a child’s stability. Courts routinely enforce “no derogatory remarks” provisions when they are included, and extreme conduct can justify a modification or counseling requirement.
Myth: “Children can decide whether they want to talk to the other parent.”
Not in Washington. Parents are responsible for encouraging reasonable contact and ensuring the child is available unless the plan states otherwise. A child’s reluctance alone does not cancel communication obligations.
Myth: “I can add new rules later if a problem comes up.”
Not without legal process. A parenting plan is binding as written. If a needed rule is missing—such as communication terms, restrictions, exchange rules, or extracurricular expectations—you must either agree on an amendment or pursue a modification. Courts enforce what is in the plan, not what parents think should have been in it.
Myth: “The ‘Other Provisions’ section isn’t important.”
It often becomes the most important section. This is where communication rules, behavioral expectations, information-sharing duties, and conflict-prevention instructions are placed. Leaving it blank can leave you without options when disputes arise.
Myth: “Text messages are enough to prove violations.”
Sometimes—but not always. Courts need clear evidence tied directly to specific plan provisions. Vague or emotional messages do not prove violations. Documentation must show how the behavior broke the written plan.
Myth: “The court will fix communication problems quickly.”
Not usually. If the plan requires dispute resolution, you must follow that process first unless there is an emergency. Judges expect parents to attempt problem-solving through mediation, counseling, or a neutral before asking the court to intervene.
Myth: “If the plan doesn’t mention a behavior, the court can still punish it.”
Generally no. Courts enforce court orders, not expectations. If you want the court to enforce a rule about communication, electronic access, social media, introductions to new partners, or decision-sharing, it must appear in the plan.
Understanding Additional Rules in a Washington Parenting Plan
What is the “Other” section of a Washington Parenting Plan?
The “Other” section is a space where parents can add extra rules that do not fit the standard parts of the plan. It is often used for communication guidelines, expectations for new partners, alcohol or cannabis restrictions, or rules that support the child’s routine. This appears on page 7 of the Washington Parenting Plan form (FL All Family 140).
What kinds of rules can parents add to a parenting plan?
Parents can include clear, child-focused rules about communication, respectful conduct, information sharing, routines, virtual contact, or expectations during exchanges. These provisions help reduce conflict and improve predictability for the child.
What kinds of rules should not be added to a parenting plan?
Courts avoid vague or overly controlling language. Rules that restrict normal parenting decisions, rely on subjective standards, or interfere with a parent’s residential time are usually not enforceable.
Are extra rules in a parenting plan legally enforceable?
Yes, if the language is clear. Courts can enforce orders about communication, behavior, information sharing, and expectations if they are specific and focused on the child’s stability.
What happens if parents do not include any extra rules?
Nothing unusual. Many families leave this section blank, and the standard parts of the plan still apply. But when a parenting plan is enforced, the court can only enforce what is written. If a conflict arises later and there is no rule addressing the issue, parents must use the dispute resolution process in their plan to fix the problem. Clear language up front prevents repeat conflict and avoids additional litigation.
Communication and Information Sharing Between Parents
Can a parent talk badly about the other parent in front of the child?
Unless the parenting plan includes a rule that prohibits this behavior, a parent technically can. Many parents do make negative comments about the other parent, extended family, or new partners, and courts generally cannot stop it unless the parenting plan contains clear language. While this behavior can harm the child’s emotional well-being, it is usually outside the court’s authority unless it is written into the plan.
A well-crafted rule in the “Other” section of a Washington Parenting Plan can prohibit insults, badmouthing, and other derogatory language. At Pacific Northwest Family Law we often include a provision against “derogatory language” as standard practice, even when parents are getting along well at the time the plan is finalized.
Can a parenting plan require parents to use a co-parenting app?
Yes. Courts approve tools like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents when communication has been difficult or when a reliable record is important.
What information must parents share about school, health, and activities?
Parents must share information about medical appointments, school events, activities, and emergencies unless a safety restriction applies. Washington law gives parents equal access to records (RCW 26.09.225).
Can a parent block the other parent’s phone number?
No. A parent cannot block communication unless there is a court-ordered safety restriction. Blocking calls or texts violates the parenting plan.
How often can I talk to my child during the other parent’s time?
There are no fixed rules in Washington about how often a parent can call or video chat with a child. Contact should be age-appropriate and fit the child’s routine, and parents should cooperate so the child feels connected to both homes. During a parent’s residential time, it is that parent’s choice how often to allow communication unless the parenting plan includes specific language. If communication becomes a problem, you can use the dispute resolution process in the plan to address it or seek a modification if the issue becomes recurring. At Pacific Northwest Family Law, we often include specific provisions that allow reasonable contact during non-residential time.
➡ [link: Long-Distance Parenting Plans]
Can my ex stop me from calling the kids?
If the parenting plan does not include a communication rule, one parent could limit contact during their residential time. This is often a poor way to parent and can damage the parent-child relationship. Cutting off all communication entirely could eventually support a request to modify the parenting plan, but without specific language in the plan you must use the dispute resolution process before returning to court. Blocking contact is not automatically a violation unless the plan prohibits it. This is why attorneys at Pacific Northwest Family Law routinely include fair and balanced contact provisions during nonresidential time.
➡ [link: Resolving Disputes Under a Parenting Plan]
➡ [link: Modifying Parenting Plans]
Can my ex monitor my phone calls or video chats with my child?
Parents should not monitor or interfere with the other parent’s calls unless there is a safety issue in the parenting plan. However, during a parent’s residential time, they can supervise contact if the child is young or needs support. It is not a violation of the parenting plan unless the plan itself forbids monitoring. If a parent repeatedly listens in, records calls, or restricts private communication without a valid reason, these issues can be raised through the dispute resolution process. If the problem becomes a pattern, you may be able to add clear communication rules through a modification.
➡ [link: Enforcement and Contempt]
➡ [link: Modifying Parenting Plans]
Conduct Around the Child
Can a parent talk about the court case with the child?
No. Children should not hear details about legal disputes. This creates emotional pressure and can harm the child’s sense of safety.
Can a parent encourage the child to choose sides or express a preference?
No. Courts strongly disfavor any behavior that pressures a child to take sides. Washington courts treat “intentional use of the child in conflict” as a form of abusive use of conflict, which is grounds for restricting a parent under RCW 26.09.191(3). The mandatory parenting plan form explicitly defines abusive use of conflict to include “intentional use of the child in conflict.”
When a parent tries to influence a child’s loyalty, solicit preferences, or undermine the other parent, courts may limit residential time or decision-making authority because the behavior harms the child’s emotional stability (RCW 26.09.191).
Can rules about introducing new partners be included in a parenting plan?
Yes. Many parents include expectations about timing, overnights, or how introductions should happen. Courts approve these if the rules are reasonable and consistent with the child’s well-being.
What does it mean to “involve a child in adult conflict”?
This includes arguing around the child, asking the child to pass messages, sharing financial disputes, or describing disagreements with the other parent.
Can parents add rules limiting alcohol or cannabis use around the child?
Yes. Mild restrictions can be included as parenting rules. More serious concerns fall under RCW 26.09.191 and may require safety-related limits.
➡ [link: Decision-Making and Restrictions]
Activities and Extracurriculars
Do parents have to agree on extracurricular activities?
Not always. Routine activities are usually day-to-day decisions. If an activity affects the other parent’s time or finances, the plan may require joint agreement.
Can one parent require the other parent to take the child to practices or events?
No. A parent cannot force the other parent to transport the child unless the parenting plan says so. This is a common area to define clearly.
Who pays for extracurricular activities?
Parents often divide agreed-upon expenses or include specific cost-sharing rules. Disputes are common when one parent enrolls the child without agreement.
What if a child’s activity falls on the other parent’s time?
A parent cannot be required to participate unless the plan says so, but children generally benefit when both parents support the activity.
Appearance, Lifestyle, and Major Choices
Can parents limit tattoos, piercings, or permanent appearance changes?
Yes. Parenting plans often say that permanent body modifications require joint agreement until the child turns eighteen.
Can one parent control the child’s haircut or grooming?
Not unless the parenting plan grants that authority. Haircuts are typically a day-to-day decision.
Can parents include rules about religion in the parenting plan?
Parents can include agreed-upon expectations. Courts approve these if they do not interfere with the other parent’s ability to use their own religious practices during their time.
Can parents include rules about diet, screen time, or routines?
Yes, but only if the rules are specific. Courts do not enforce vague lifestyle preferences.
Exchanges, Transportation, and Drop-Off Conduct
What is a “neutral exchange location”?
A neutral exchange location is a public setting used to reduce conflict, such as a school, community center, or police station lobby.
Can a parenting plan require curbside or no-contact exchanges?
Yes. These rules help minimize conflict when parents should not interact directly.
What happens when a parent is late to pickups or drop-offs?
Chronic lateness can be considered interference with the other parent’s time. If it continues, parents may seek enforcement or modification.
➡ [link: Enforcement and Contempt]
Who is responsible for transportation in a parenting plan?
The plan assigns transportation duties. Many plans require each parent to pick up the child from the other parent’s home unless distance or safety requires a different arrangement.
Clear Rules Reduce Conflict and Protect Children
Extra rules in a parenting plan help parents work together and give children a steady, predictable environment. Whether the issue involves communication, new partners, activities, or exchanges, the goal is always the same. Children should feel safe and supported in both homes. When a parenting plan includes clear expectations, parents have fewer disagreements and fewer reasons to return to court. And when conflict does arise, a detailed plan gives both parents a roadmap for solving the problem.
Thoughtful rules do not take away a parent’s independence. They create boundaries that protect children from adult disputes and help co-parents communicate with respect. As you continue through the parenting topics in this guide, you will see how these provisions connect to modification, enforcement, and dispute resolution, and how a well-written parenting plan can prevent future problems before they begin.
Reviewed by Attorney Zachary C Ashby, Pacific Northwest Family Law, November 2025.