Our Approach to Family Law

Family Law is Different

Family law exists because families matter.

That may sound obvious, but it is the single most important truth to understand before stepping into a divorce, a custody dispute, or any other family law matter. Our approach to family law is grounded in a deeply held belief that family is forever.

Families are not incidental to human life. They are foundational. They shape who we become, how we relate to others, and what kind of communities we build. When families are healthy, individuals tend to be healthier. Trust is higher. Conflict is lower. Belonging is real.

When family relationships break down, the damage is not limited to two people who no longer get along. Children are affected. Extended families are affected. Futures are altered. That is why family law feels so different from other areas of legal practice, and why it is uniquely dangerous when handled poorly.

Even when a marriage ends, family does not disappear. Parents and children remain connected. Former spouses often remain linked through shared responsibilities, milestones, and history. The purpose of the family law attorney is not to erase connections that make us who we are, but to repair and reshape them so that the best parts of who we are remain.

Not everyone agrees with this framing. Some see family law as a contest. Others see it as a nuisance to be rushed through or avoided. We see it as one of the most consequential areas of law in the world because it governs the relationships that define us most deeply.

Family Law Attorneys Enter At The End Of The Story

Family law matters when disconnect and discord become intolerable.

It is the moment of betrayal, when trust collapses and the future feels uncertain. It is the quiet realization of emotional abandonment in a home that no longer feels like one. It is the point where addiction, mental health issues, or unsafe behavior turn concern into fear. It is the moment when a parent realizes that personal preferences must yield to a child’s well-being.

These moments are not theoretical. They are lived. They are painful. And they demand structure when emotion alone is no longer sufficient.

Divorce is often the central tool of family law, but it is better understood as the management of the end of a marriage rather than the destruction of a family. Marriage may end. Family does not. Children still need parents. Parents still need to make decisions together. Property must be divided. Support must be determined. New boundaries must be created so that family can continue in a different form.

The same is true for committed intimate relationships, where couples built lives together without the formal protections of marriage, and for parentage matters where unmarried parents are bound together by children they will share for the rest of their lives. Adoption, protection orders, and other family law tools exist for the same reason: to impose order where chaos threatens to do lasting harm.

We do not seek out divorce. We do not manufacture conflict. Family law is not something we promote. It is a reality we confront directly, with seriousness and respect for what is at stake.

The Wrong Attorney Worsens the Damage to Families

There are certain categories and conditions of attorney that we shy away from because they tend to harm more than help. 

At one extreme are attorneys who confuse aggression with strength. Many learned their trade fighting large corporations, insurance companies, or government agencies. Those opponents are faceless. The human cost of scorched-earth tactics is minimal because the enemy absorbs it as a line item. That approach collapses in family law, where the “opposing party” is often someone the client must co-parent with, communicate with, or stand next to at a child’s graduation years later.

Unchecked aggression inflames conflict, multiplies cost, and leaves emotional wreckage that outlives the case itself.

On the other extreme are attorneys who fundamentally dislike contention. They seek compromise reflexively, avoid difficult conversations, and delay hard decisions in the hope that cooperation will magically appear. Ground is given incrementally until the client finds themselves cornered, frustrated, and forced into desperate measures late in the process. What follows is often a sudden, destructive escalation after months or years of attrition.

Neither extreme reflects a coherent vision of winning.

Both approaches substitute the attorney’s temperament and values for the client’s long-term interests.

We reject both.

Our approach to family law is built on preparation.

Preparation does not mean a hunger for trial. It means readiness. It means understanding the facts, mastering the evidence, and knowing how the law applies to the specific people involved, not to some hypothetical case. It means anticipating problems before they become emergencies and setting boundaries early rather than litigating them later.

Trial readiness changes the dynamics of a case. The party who is prepared is harder to manipulate, harder to delay, and harder to pressure into bad agreements. Preparation creates credibility. Credibility creates leverage. Leverage creates resolution.

Ironically, the cases most likely to resolve without trial are often those prepared as if trial were possible.

The cheapest strategy in the short term is often to wing it. That economy is an illusion. The real costs of poor preparation frequently appear months or years later, when vague orders are tested against reality, when enforcement becomes necessary, or when children grow older and the inadequacy of past decisions becomes impossible to ignore.

Preparation is not an indulgence. It is how we protect children, finances, and futures.

The Family Law Matters We Handle

Our approach applies across the full spectrum of family law matters, including:

Cost, Time, and the Reality of Family Law

Cost is a function of how long our firm works on a client’s behalf. Family law matters range from $4,000 for a simple legal separation to nearly $90,000 for a highly contested divorce with children. The time a case requires is shaped by three primary factors. 

The first is complexity. Mental health issues, addiction, special needs, distance between parents, business interests, investments, and prior court involvement all add layers that must be addressed carefully.

The second factor is the number and nature of disputed issues. Divorce alone can involve the marriage itself, property division, parenting, child support, and spousal support. Each contested issue adds work. Disagreements over parenting time or decision-making tend to be especially demanding because of what is at stake.

The third factor is animosity. Some people fight every point. Some fight strategically. Those are not the same thing. Broad, unfocused conflict drives costs up quickly. Focused, deliberate advocacy tends to contain them.

Clients sometimes ask why preparation, research, and strategy appear on invoices. Shouldn’t experienced attorneys already know the law? The reality is that family law is both complex and intensely fact-specific. Preparation is how we determine which facts matter, which arguments apply to your situation, and which paths are worth pursuing. It is how we reduce delay, counter gamesmanship, and avoid costly surprises.

Over time, we have seen that cases handled with clarity and preparation tend to resolve sooner and with fewer downstream problems. Delay and avoidance, by contrast, almost always increase cost.

Reviewed by Attorney Zachary C Ashby, Pacific Northwest Family Law, December 2025