Washington State divorce can be devastating to families, especially when it’s done the wrong way. At Pacific Northwest Family Law, we recognize that far too many people treat divorce as all out war, reveling in the tragedy of the human condition. While the choice to move forward is never easy, it becomes far harder when you lack reliable information to make the decisions ahead. We believe that given correct advice and information, you can intentionally divorce in a way that helps to rebuild your family and create happiness again.
Divorce encompasses five major areas: the status of the marriage, financial support between spouses, custody of children, financial support for children, and dividing assets and debts from the marriage. To further complicate an already difficult process, every family’s situation is unique and the intersection of state, federal, and sometimes even international law can affect how your case proceeds.
There is a wrong way and a right way to go through divorce. The wrong way is to choose an overly aggressive (or even overly nice) attorney, blindly trust your soon to be ex, or cave to whatever proposals or demands come your way. Divorce wrongly pursued results in destruction and despair because it is rooted in fear and hatred.
Done right, however, divorce can become a transformational point in your life. It can be an opportunity for you to look to the future needs of your loved ones, refresh your financial situation, and make plans for a brighter future. With the help of an experience divorce attorney, you can navigate the troubled waters of divorce out of a sense of love and compassion for your children and even your soon to be ex. And then you can build a better life with a healthy foundation for your family.
We’ve compiled essential information about the many aspects of divorce in Washington State, along with answers to frequently asked questions.
At Pacific Northwest Family Law, our purpose is to help you take that next step — divorcing the right way, with strategy and care that protects what matters most to you.
The Decision to Divorce
Planning and Strategy Before Divorce
The decision to divorce is not a light one. It changes lives and can when you face it without the proper preparation, divorce can make things much worse before it makes things better. make things worse rather than better. But sometimes divorce is necessary.
Preparation largely means research into your own circumstances. The better information you have when you speak with an attorney, the better advice and strategy you are going to get. Proper planning can protect your finances and your family. It can also prevent emotional decisions from becoming costly ones.
➡ [link: Planning and Strategy Before Divorce in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Divorce vs. Legal Separation
Divorce ends a marriage completely, dividing property, debts, time with children, and determine financial support and other obligations. Legal separation, on the other hand, is a way for people to continue to remain married while taking care of the same issues of property and child custody.
There are many reasons to pursue a legal separation rather than a divorce from religious belief to benefit qualifications. It is also important to know that a legal separation is a formal process overseen by the Courts in Washington. It is not a trial separation where the couple simply lives apart while trying to work things out.
➡ For more information about the differences between Divorce and Legal Separation, visit our FAQ page Divorce vs. Legal Separation
Financial Strategy and Protection
Divorce reshapes every part of your financial life — from credit scores to retirement savings. We help clients create post-divorce financial strategies that protect assets and restore stability.
➡ [link: Financial Strategy and Protection During Divorce in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
The Legal Process and Core Issues
Divorce Costs and Process
Every divorce in Washington follows a similar path: petition, service, discovery, and resolution. It starts with the filing and service of a divorce petition using the Washigonton state mandatory forms. At that point all property, income, and parenting are under the power of the court to make decisions.
There’s a 90-day minimum waiting period after filing, but cases often take longer depending on complexity and conflict.
The Petition for Dissolution of Marriage (what Washington State law calls divorce), outlines the demands and requests made to the other side. The Response must be filed and served within a short period of time and sets the demands and requests of the other party. The two documents, known as pleadings, set out the boundaries and issues that must be decided and that are already agreed upon as part of the divorce.
After the pleadings are file, the divorcing couple can ask for temporary orders, These are fully enforceable court orders that can address such things as child custody, child support, spousal support, use of the house and bank accounts, payment of utilities and other necessities of life.
At the same time, there a period of discovery starts. Discovery is the formal process of exchanging information about bank accounts, retirement, employment, medical records, work and school schedules, and other information needed to prove your case to the court and prepare for trial. Even if you don’t end up going to trial, discovery and the exchange of information is absolutely necessary to reaching a good agreement.
And once discovery is done, you can truly enter into negotiations. You can negotiate directly or engage in more formal mediation about your divorce. Preparing for either one requires a knowledge about the court and law so that you can ensure you are dealing on equal terms with your soon to be ex. The goal is to reach an agreement on as many, if not all, issues outlined in the petition.
Only if you can’t reach an agreement, and most divorces do reach an agreement, do you go to trial. At trial the parties will present information and evidence to the Judge who then will make decisions (usually decisions that no one really likes) that you then must follow.
After the trial, you must prepare final orders according to the judge’s ruling for the judge to then sign.
When it comes to cost, you can see that there is a long process. All of this takes time and attention to execute. The more people fight, the more they fight over, and the more they have to fight over the higher the costs. Preparation and cooperation nearly always cost less than squabbling. So it’s important to get expert advice from a divorce attorney to help identify your priorities and long-term plans so that divorce doesn’t cost you more than money.
➡For even more information about the costs and process of Divorce visit our FAQ page Divorce Costs and Process.
Uncontested Divorce
On occasion, married couples are able to reach an agreement on all issues involving the division of property, child custody, and financial support before they even file. When this happens, we call it an uncontested divorce. Divorce under these circumstances still must wait 90 days before termination, but the attorney’s role changes to ensure that our clients are aware of their options, their agreement is fair to them, and that it accounts for potential changes.
➡ [link: Uncontested Divorce in Washington State FAQ]
High-Conflict Divorce
Not every divorce is cooperative. Some are driven by anger, control, or deep mistrust.
High-conflict divorces require firm boundaries, documentation, and disciplined strategy. We are experienced in defending our clients against aggressive exs and their unhinged attorneys. Just like with any bully, we find that strong and precise counter action (metaphorical punching the bully right between the eyes) helps put things on equal footing. But in order to quell the aggression of one party, you have to do so with skill and strategy or you risk enflaming the other side and ratcheting up the contention (and costs) of divorce.
➡ [link: High-Conflict Divorce in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Alimony and Spousal Maintenance
Spousal maintenance, the word that Washington State law uses for alimony, has a purpose to equalize the income in both households in order to allow a spouse who was not working or otherwise sacrificed career opportunities to get the training and qualifications to increase their income
Alimony in Washington State is a financial bridge designed to create fairness when one spouse earns significantly more or sacrificed career opportunities. But it can feel incredibly unfair.
While there is no set formula in setting alimony, the Court will look to different factors such as the length of marriage, income, and ability to become self-supporting. There is also not set time for how long spousal maintenance will last. It is possible, in special circumstances, that it is lifelong.
It is also possible to change or end spousal maintenance when certain conditions are met, such as remarriage, cohabitation, or failing health.
➡ For more information about Alimony visit our page Alimony and Spousal Support
Property Division
Washington is a community property state, meaning most assets gained during marriage belong equally to both spouses. This does not mean, however, that each spouse will walk away with exactly 50% of the property. Fair and equitable is not the same as equal. The division or property also takes into consideration things like child custody, alimony, future potential to create wealth, and other circumstances that make different divisions fair.
Even if the property is divided 50/50, that doesn’t mean that each piece of property will need to be sold and the cash divided. It does mean making sure you have fair values and make decisions over who gets what item, all ownership is properly recorded, and that mortgages get refinanced.
➡ For more information about how property is handled in a divorce, please visit our FAQ page Property Division and Assets in Washington State Divorce
Divorce and Debt
Debt can strain even the strongest marriages and often becomes one of the hardest parts of separation. Our family law attorneys help clients divide mortgages, student loans, credit cards, and other shared debts fairly, protecting credit and future stability.
➡ [link: Divorce and Debt in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Parenting and Child-Related Issues
Children deserve stability, not conflict. Washington courts require a parenting plan and child support in every divorce involving children. The parenting plan is the Washington State term for a custody order. It defines where your children live, how decisions are made, and how parents communicate. Our goal is to help you protect your children’s well-being while creating a schedule that works in the real world.
➡ [link: Divorce-Related Parenting and Child Issues in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
We go into even more depth when it comes to child custody and all the factors and considerations for married and unmarried couples on this page about child custody.
The Family Home and Other Real Property In Divorce
The family home represents both financial and emotional security. For many, it represents the single greatest asset the married couple owns. Still others have a more complex ownership situation where one spouse may have brought in inheritance, proceeds from a home owned before marriage, or a gift from a parent. Whether you sell, refinance, or buy out your spouse, housing decisions shape your future stability. We help you weigh emotional attachment against practical reality to reach a sound decision.
➡ [link: Divorce and Housing in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Specialized Situations
Christian Divorce and Faith-Based Values
For people of faith, divorce raises questions of conscience as much as law. Different denominations and traditions view divorce differently, and no lawyer can answer spiritual questions for you. What we can do is help you move forward with integrity, making decisions that align with both your values and your responsibilities.
➡ [link: Christian Divorce and Faith-Based Values in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Business Owners, Executives, and Professionals
When a business or professional practice is part of a divorce, complex valuation and confidentiality issues arise. There are many things that you now must consider from how ownership in the business will be bought out or divided, to how a business involving both spouses can continue as a going concern. Our expert divorce attorneys can help you negotiate a fair outcome that will allow you to continue protect your livlihood.
➡To learn more about how divorce affects business owners, executives and professionals, visit our FAQ page Business Owners, Executives, and Professionals in Washington State Divorce
Military Divorce
Service members and their families face unique challenges such as deployments, relocations, and benefits governed by federal law. We understand the complexity of military pensions, survivor benefits, and federal statutes that intersect with Washington law.
➡ Learn more about military divorce on our page Military Divorce for Washington Families.
First Responders and High-Stress Occupations
Police officers, firefighters, and medical professionals live under constant stress.
We help first responders protect their pensions, privacy, and parenting time while balancing the demands of their service.
➡ [link: First Responders and High-Stress Occupations in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Gray Divorce (After 50)
Divorce later in life brings different challenges that are more immediate when it comes to alimony and retirement accounts. If you are facing divorce and nearing retirement, the last thing you want is to be forced to delay retirement in order to pay for your ex to have a cushy life. When it comes to gray divorce the attorneys at Pacific Northwest Family Law have helped people negotiate a more mature division of a lifetime of accumulated property and wealth to help preserve the stability you’ve worked together to build, allowing our clients to preserve their independence during this major transition.
➡ [link: Gray Divorce in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Same-Sex Divorce and LGBTQ+ Families
Same-sex divorces often involve unique questions about parentage, adoption, and property rights from domestic partnerships. Our divorce attorneys handle these cases with respect, precision, and an understanding of the evolving law.
➡ [link: Gay and Same-Sex Divorce in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Divorce with Immigration Concerns
When one spouse’s visa or residency depends on the marriage, divorce can create serious immigration consequences. We coordinate with immigration counsel to protect legal status and ensure a stable path forward.
➡ [link: Divorce with Immigration Concerns in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Safety, Cooperation, and Resolution Paths
Divorce and Domestic Violence
Safety always comes first. Washington’s Civil Protection Order laws offer immediate relief for those facing abuse or threats. We help clients secure protection orders and plan for safety while proceeding through the divorce process.
➡ [link: Divorce and Domestic Violence in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative divorce focuses on cooperation instead of confrontation. Spouses and their attorneys commit to resolving all issues outside of court, through open communication and shared goals. It may take more effort, but it preserves relationships and emotional well-being.
➡ [link: Collaborative Divorce in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Divorce Mediation and Arbitration
Mediation and arbitration offer private, structured ways to resolve disputes before trial. They save time, protect privacy, and often produce better long-term outcomes. We help clients prepare for these settings and advocate effectively within them.
➡ [link: Divorce Mediation and Arbitration in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
The Aftermath and Renewal
Rebuilding After Divorce
Divorce ends a marriage, but it doesn’t end your family. Families evolve, and new patterns of care and connection emerge. Our goal at Pacific Northwest Family Law is for you to be able to look back without regrets. We know that there are some people (those who didn’t hire us) that wake up in the middle of the night, wishing they had said or done one more thing in their divorce to get back at their ex. Or they have to continue to avoid their ex because of the animosity. Or even some that are stuck in life because the financial and emotional toll on them just made everything stop.
With an eye on the long-term outcome, we guide our clients through divorce in a way that they don’t wake up in the middle of the night. They don’t have to have separate graduation celebrations. They can both attend the weddings of their children without being placed at different tables. And they can create a financial independant and successful life after the dust from the divorce has settled.
➡ [link: Rebuilding After Divorce in Washington State Divorce FAQ]
Pacific Northwest Family Law Helps You Be A Family Hero
Divorce isn’t just a legal process, it’s a reorganization of your life and family.
At Pacific Northwest Family Law, we help clients move through that change with clarity, compassion, and confidence.
Our family law attorneys bring structure to uncertainty, guiding you through every decision that affects your family’s future from property and parenting to rebuilding peace in the years ahead.
If you’re ready to take the next step, contact us today.n We’re here to help you protect what matters most and move forward with dignity and strength.
Reviewed by Attorney Zachary C. Ashby, Pacific Northwest Family Law, November 2025.